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Although I feel reasonably confident that no technical team is as inept as that of the Beijing Sounds Studios, I’ll post this bit about the RSS feed just in case it’s of use to someone. Continue Reading »

Posted 17 January 2011 † syz § meta ‡ Comments (4) °

Your head, your “many heads” — Cultural Revolution Medicine Part I

[meta: apologies for re-posting -- see this blah-blah about rss feed issues]

A word about Cultural Revolution Medicine from the Producer and CEO:

We at the Beijing Sounds Studios are pleased to announce the start of a new series, based on the experiences of YU working as a young doctor sent far from Beijing during the late ’60s and early ’70s, mostly in Gansu province.

I hope you enjoy this YU production and look forward to all the sycophantic feedback of the bought-off reviewers. If you imagine you hear whispering about the slim likelihood of actually seeing a Part II after the Part I in this “series”, rest assured that it is nothing more than the sub-zero winds blowing yellow dust off the Gobi desert.

As a side note, you may well be aware that, silly press releases aside, this is the Studios’ first real production in nearly a year. But I want to assure the public that vicious rumors of our demise, spread by unworthy competitors and their mange-blighted running dogs, are of less value than the carcinogenic air blown out of the smokestack just northwest of the Studios. It is in fact a testament to the low expenses that come from screwing employees fortune amassed from our past blockbusters that we are able to continue operating without fear of bankruptcy.

Yours in profitability,

Syz

Click below for the audio, and see this page if you have trouble. You can also download the mp3 here.

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YU hēng lǎo, hēng lǎo, wa! Hēng lǎo, āiyā, wǒ huíqù wǒ shuō “nǐ shuō shénme?” Tā hái shuō “hēng lǎo”. Wǒ jiù bu dǒng. hēng lǎo，hēng lǎo，哇！hēng lǎo 哎呀，我回去我说“你说什么？”他还说“hēng lǎo”。我就不懂。 “Heng lao, heng lao” — what?! “Heng lao”, yikes! I went back and asked him, “What are you saying?” He keeps saying “heng lao”. I just couldn’t understand.
YU Nà bù dǒng wǒ yě zǒule — tā — buzhīdào, bù dǒng tā shuō de shì shénme huà. Ránhòu wǒ huíqù yǐhòu jiù wèn biérén(r). 那不懂我也走了——他——不知道，不懂他说的是什么话。然后我回去以后就问别人（儿）。 Well I couldn’t understand so I left anyway. Him? I don’t know — couldn’t understand what he was trying to say. Then after I went back I asked someone else.
YU Tā shuō jiù shì ràng nǐ zǒu wěn de yìsi, nǐ hǎohao zǒu (xiào). Dōngběi bù shuō zhèi huà. 他说就是让你走稳的意思，你好好走（笑）。 东北不说这话。 He says [the phrase] means to “go steady”, something like “go carefully / properly” (laughs). In the northeast they don’t say this.
YU Zhè shì Gānsū, Shǎn — Xī — a — Shānxī shénme shénme jiù nèi yīkuàir de rén shuō de huà. 这是甘肃，陕——西——啊——山西什么什么就那一块儿的人说的话。 This is local speech from somewhere over in Gansu, Shaan — uh — Shanxi.
YU Yǒude shíhòu dìfāng de huà yě tǐng bùhǎo dǒng. Tā shuō, tā yǒu yī jù huà, qíshí yě tǐng kēxué de, 有的时候地方的话也挺不好懂。他说，他有一句话，其实也挺科学的， Sometimes local speech is pretty hard to understand. They have a word, actually it’s pretty scientific,
YU tā shuō, tā shuō zhèige (zhǐde shì tóu), zhèige shì “duō nǎo, duō lǎo, duō lǎo”, wǒ jiù bù dǒng. 他说，他说这个（指的是头），这个是“duō nǎo, duō lǎo, duō lǎo”，我就不懂。 they say, they say this (pointing to head) — this is “duō nǎo, duō lǎo, duō lǎo”, I really didn’t understand. [多脑，duō nǎo = literally, many heads]
YU Wǒ shuō “duō lǎo” shì shénme? Hòulái wǒ yī xiǎng: zhèi rén de zhèi nǎodai, zhèi zhèige lǐbianr de zhèi nǎodai a – 我说“duō lǎo”是什么？后来我一想：这人的这脑袋，这这个里边儿的这脑袋啊—— I said, “What’s ‘many heads’?” Then after I thought about it: a person’s head, what’s inside a person’s head, well –
YU qíshí shì: dànǎo, xiǎonǎo, qiánnǎo, hòunǎo, zhōngnǎo — shì jǐge nǎozi de. 其实是：大脑，小脑，前脑，后脑，中脑——十几个脑子的。 it actually is — cerebrum, cerebellum, forebrain, hindbrain, midbrain — it’s several brains.
YU Suǒyǐ zhèi Gānsūrén shuōde hěn kēxué de (xiào). Tā bù shuō tóu, tā shuō “duō nǎo”. 所以这甘肃人说的很科学的（笑）。他不说“头”，他说“多脑”。 So these Gansu people say it pretty scientifically (laughing). They don’t say “head” they say “many heads”.
YU Tā shuō zhèige shì “duō nǎo” — a duì! — qíshí shì zhēnde, shíjìshang shì zhēnde, hǎojǐge nǎodai a, hǎojǐge nǎo. 他说这个是“多脑”——啊对！——其实是真的，实际上是真的，好几个脑袋啊，好几个脑。 They say this is “many heads” — right! — actually it’s true, as a matter of fact, quite a few heads, quite a few brains.
YU Yǒu yī tiān, yǒu yīge xiǎoháir lái — yǒu bìng a, tā lái kàn bìng. 有一天，有一个小孩儿来——有病啊，他来看病。 There was one day a child came — sick, came to get treatment.
YU Kàn bìng ne, wǒmen yīyuàn méiyǒu nèige, nèige xiǎoháir de zhì késou de yào. 看病呢，我们医院没有那个，那个小孩儿的治咳嗽的药。 After seeing him, well we didn’t have that kind of cough medicine for children at the hospital.
YU Ránhòu wǒ shuō ràng tā — wǒ gěi tā xiěchū míngzi — wǒ ràng tā dào jiēshang de yàodiàn qù mǎi. 然后我说让他——我给她写出名字——我让他到街上的药店去买。 So I told him — I wrote his name down — I told him to go out to the pharmacy on the street to buy it.
YU Zǒu de shíhòu(r), wǒ gēn tā shuō, wǒ shuō nǐ jīntiān jiùyào qù mǎi zhèige yào, 走的时候（儿），我跟他说，我说你今天就要去买这个药， When he was leaving, I told him, I said you have to buy the medicine today,
YU zài jiāshang wǒ gěi nǐ kāi de zhèi yào nǐ yìqǐ chī, xiǎoháir jiù, bìng jiù huì hǎo le. Tā shuō “Duì! Wǒ érge jiù qù mǎi!” 再加上我给你开的这药你一起吃，小孩儿就，病就会好了。他说“对！我érge就去买！” and then take it together with the medicine I’m prescribing from here, then the kid — that will cure the cough. He said, “Right! I will buy it érge!”
YU Wa! Bù dǒng. Shénme jiào érge? Wǒ yǐwéi tā míngtiān. Wǒ shuō “Búshì!” 哇！不懂。什么叫érge？我以为他明天。我说“不是！” What?! I didn’t understand. What is érge? I thought he meant tomorrow. I said, “No!”
YU Wǒ shuō “Nǐ jīntiān jiù yǐdìng yào qù mǎi, pèishang zhèige, wǒ gěi nǐ xiě de zhèi ge tiáotiáo(r) de yào, zhèi xiǎoháir de bìng cái yǒu yòng. 我说：“你今天就一定要去买，配上这个，我给你写的这个条条（儿）的药，这小孩儿的病才有用。 I said, “You definitely have to buy it today to go with this other medicine I’m giving you. The medicine I’ve written for you on this piece of paper — that’s how they’re effective for treatment.”
YU Tā shuō, “Duì, wǒ érge jiù qù mǎi” (xiào). Hái shuō “érge”. Wǒ yǐwéi tā shuō de “érge” shì míngtiān. 他说，“对，我érge就去买（笑）。还说érge。我以为他说的“érge”是明天。 He said, “Right, I’ll go buy it érge” (laughs). He’s still saying “érge”. I thought he was saying érge to mean tomorrow.
YU Shíjìshang de tā jiù shuō érge jiùshì jīntiān, suǒyǐ tǐng yǒu yìsi de. 实际上的他就说érge就是今天，所以挺有意思的。 In actuality he was saying “today”, so it was pretty funny.
YU Jiéguǒ ne? Děng, dǎ wǒ jí de bù chéng, pángbiān de rén ?? jiù xiào, ?? yě yǒu hǎo duō bié de kàn bìng de bìngrén. 结果呢？（等）打我急得不成，旁边的人？？就笑，？？也有好多别的看病的病人。 So in the end, only after I was getting upset with him, other people laughed … there were a lot of patients next to us.
YU Jiéguǒ nào le bàn tiān, “érge” jiùshì “jīntiān”. 结果闹了半天，érge就是“今天”。 In the end a lot of fuss when “érge” just means “today”.
SYZ Kěshì shuō bié de, nǐ dōu tīngdǒng, duìbuduì? 可是说别的，你都听懂，对不对？ But (when they) say other things, you understand it all, right?
YU Háiyǒu, èn, duō de fǎnzheng yě dōu shì zhōngguóhuà. 还有，恩，多的反正是也都是中国话。 Well, yeah, mostly it’s all Chinese.

Program Notes

If anyone knows more about hēng lǎo, it would be great to hear about it.
A lot of second language speakers of Mandarin find one of the toughest things to do is to stress a particular word without losing tones. Here’s a great example of heavy stress on zǒu wěn, 走稳
Translating 他 as “they” because it’s generic and being a lot like we’d use “singular they” in English
Note how YU switches from L to N in her pronunciation. Imitation of the locals? This behavior is common in some varieties of Mandarin but not much or at all in Beijing, where YU is from. So this is a mystery to me. Here’s a post with some more details.

The language of Gansu 甘肃, where YU’s story takes place, is generally Mandarin. However, “Mandarin” itself can encompass such a wide variety of dialects that speakers find themselves unable to understand each other. Last year, for example, the YU kitchen hosted a visit from the elderly parents of a friend. They are natives of a small village outside Xi’an 西安. During dinner, YU claimed she understood about half of what the couple was saying, even though what they spoke is also Mandarin.

With that context, there’s no doubt that plenty of other linguistic misunderstandings occurred in Gansu in the 1960s and 70s, when city slicker YU was practicing rural medicine. But for now this is all the Studios have managed to get on tape.

Posted 17 January 2011 † syz § Cultural Revolution Medicine series ‡ Comments (11) °

Mid-Autumn Collision

Foreword: the following is a submission from a low-level staff member here at the Beijing Sounds Studios. He was involved in an incident with the company vehicle. While the producer is generally loath to put the venerable BJS banner on works without audio, he’s not above cheapening the brand to make a buck during what is approaching a six-month production dry spell. To the critics enamored of sound and sound only, please stop reading here and contact the office manager for your payola…

——–

To say that traffic was “heavy” that day doesn’t feel right; it seems to imply some kind of dense rush of vehicles moving too fast for safety.

In fact, we were barely moving, as is often the case on this two-lane street leading back to my apartment. It’s an artery with atherosclerosis, where the fatty deposits consist of taxi-trikes pausing to hawk services to pedestrians; wagon-lugging fruit vendors in search of an ideal location; seven-point-U-turning taxis backing up at the speed of sludge; would-be speeders with dark windows and military plates who, after zipping down the wrong side of the street in a moment of open road glee, have managed to get themselves lodged between a brick cart and a bus disgorging and boarding 87 passengers. In short, it’s a street ailed by the typical plaques afflicting any Beijing artery. Every rush hour, and often in between, both directions are clogged to a standstill.

Nothing worth having a coronary about, but today, the first day of the Mid-Autumn Festival holiday, I was in a hurry [for no good reason, in honest hindsight]. Even though it was well past 10 in the morning, the crush was intense. In front of me I could see 500m of bumper-to-bumper inching. And this being traffic with Chinese characteristics, I knew just crawling along wasn’t going to cut it. Ahead was the entrance from a feeder road. The gap it opens up is wide enough to squeeze a car through on the right side and thereby shoot ahead of at least three or four of those foolish enough to stay in the main lane. Get enough cars passing on the right, and the main lane actually fails to make forward movement. I believe aficionados of the sport call this situation “parking in purgatory” — unable to proceed or reverse or even get out of the game.

I’m six months into building my driver’s resume — two oil changes, one flat tire, a trip to Inner Mongolia through the infamous 62km traffic jam — enough experience that I wasn’t about to let parking purgatory happen to me. As the Audi behind me made his move for the feeder road gap. I pulled the steering wheel hard to the right and headed there first.

Thud.

Or was it Clump? Maybe Thunk.

At first I thought I’d put a tire into a deeper-than-expected dip, but then I saw the back-up lights of the car in front of me flash as he shifted into park. Sure enough, I’d gotten into my first accident in Beijing.

First thought: do we have to stop right in the middle of the street? How many times have I lamented the endless backup behind two cars with no visible damage, stopped dead in the middle of ferocious traffic while the owners gesticulated through dispute resolution, Beijing style. No, dammit, I wasn’t going to let that happen.

The stricken car’s owner opened the door and got out. I stopped and got out too. He paused and stared blankly at me, a tall skinny caucasian, as I told him we should pull over to the side. Without responding he went to look at his rear bumper. Again I told him it wasn’t a big deal and it was my fault, so why don’t we pull over to let other cars by.

I didn’t see any damage on the bumper, so I thought he might just say forget about it and we’d go on.

“Pull over to the side,” he repeated slowly, as if mulling over the idea. “Okay.” Continue Reading »

Posted 27 September 2010 † syz § Traffic ‡ Comments (3) °

Only those you trust can bleed you dry — repost for RSS readers

Since some folks noticed the RSS feed never updated for the last real post, here it is in all its weary glory.

Posted 27 March 2010 † syz § meta ‡ Comments Off °

Comments temporarily closed — No Longer

Sorry. Technical team, in its usual incompetence, thinks it has a way to solve technical issues. Should not involve too much down time, they say.

Update: live again! Holler if it gives you issues (bjshengr <at> gmail <dot> com)

Posted 26 March 2010 † syz § meta ‡ Comments Off °

Only those you trust can bleed you dry

Listen to the whole show with this file:

Audio:

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Or take it section by section and grab popcorn at the intermissions.

Part 1: Introductions, Perfunctories

Or, how a Zhonglish speaker works to break the Beijing record in nèige-to-content ratio.

Audio:

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1 SYZ Nín hǎo! Nín zhīdào nèige zuìhòu nèige 5 hào xiàn de nèige dìtiě zhàn zài nǎr? 您好！您知道那个最后 那个5号线的那个地铁站在哪儿？ Hello. Do you know where the last station on subway line five is?
2 SJ A, a, Sòng Zhuāngr ya? 啊，啊，宋庄儿呀？ Oh, uh, Song Zhuang?
3 SYZ A, Sòng Zhuāngr. . Wǒ wàng le jiào shénme le 啊，宋庄。。我忘了叫什么了 Right, Song Zhuang, I forgot what it was called.
4
Gāngcái zài nèi biān kǎo nèige, kǎo jiàzhào. 刚才在那边考那个，考驾照。 Just now I was over on that side (of the freeway) taking the driver’s test.
5 SJ O. . . Kǎo jiàzhào qù le. 哦。。。考驾照去了。 Oh, you took the driver’s test.
6
Nǐ. . Yǒu jiàzhào ma? 你。。有驾照吗？ You — do you have a license?
7 SYZ Wǒ yǒu nèige wàiguó de nèige jiàzhào. 我有那个外国的那个驾照。 I have a foreign license.
8
Ránhòu Zhōngguó shì zhèyàngr, yào yàoshi yǒu nèige wàiguó de jiàzhào, jiù jiù nèige fǎlǜ guī guīlǜ (dìng) nèige kǎo nèige. Jiù kěyǐ gěi nǐ yīgè jiàzhào. 然后中国是这样，要要是有那 个外国的驾照，就就那个法律规规律（定）那个考那个。就可以给你一个驾照。 Then in China it’s like this: if you have a foreign license you can take the test on traffic laws and they’ll give you a license.

Part 2: Experience kills

Or, who do you fear?

Audio:

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9 SJ Zhōngguó zhèi chē bǐ [pǐ?!] nèige, bǐ [pǐ?!] gēn nèige wàiguó nèi chē nán kāi. 中国这车比那个，比跟那个外国那车难开 Driving a car is harder in China than it is abroad.
10
Shì ba? 是吧？ Right?
11
Tā zhèige Zhōngguó zhèi chē shì hú kāi, làn kāi. Wàiguó nèi shì, rénjiā shì gāi zěnme zǒu jiù zěnme zǒu. Zhèige dìr shì xiǎng zěnme zǒu, jiù zěnme zǒu. 他这个中国这车是胡开，烂开。外国那是，人家是该怎么走就怎么走这个 地儿是想怎么走，就怎么走 Chinese driving is reckless, crappy. Abroad, people go the way they’re supposed to. Here people go the way they want to.
12 SYZ Duì, xiǎng diào ge tóu jiù diào ge tóu, hǎoduō shíxí de. 对，想调个头就调个头，好多 实习的。 Right, if they want to U-turn they U-turn — and there are a lot of new drivers.
13 SJ Duì, shíxí de? Shíxí de fǎndào méiyǒu shì. Tā. . Dǎnr xiǎo.Ai, tā jiùshì jǐ le nǐ le, yě shǔyú tā méi kàn dào.Zhèxiē rén méiyǒu shì, tā zhèige màn.Pà jiù pà shénme ya? Shíxí de yǐjīng hěn shúliàn le. 对，实习的？实习的反倒没有事。他。。胆儿小。哎，他就是挤了你了，也属于他没看到。这些人没有 事，他这个慢。怕就怕什么呀？实习的已经很熟练了。 Right, but student drivers? Actually they’re fine. No guts! Ah, they’ll just squeeze you a bit, and only because they didn’t see you. These people are no problem. They’re just slow. Scared — you know what to be scared of? It’s when the student drivers start to get proficient.
14 SJ Wǒ zhèi liǎng bǎ lúnr měi wèntí le, nà jiù, nà jiù, nǐ yī kāi zhèi chē. .Shàng nèige shù yě méi duō yuǎnr le. Nèi zhǒng rén, ai, kě pà. 我这两把轮儿没问题了，那 就，那就，你一开这车。。上那个树也没多远了。那种人，哎，可怕。 “Hey, my wheels got bling!” and then, well, he drives off and — ends up parked in that tree. This kind of person — now THAT’s scary.
15 SYZ Nà nǎge jiào nèige shénme nèige “mǎlù shāshǒu”? 那哪个叫那个什么那个“马路杀手”？ So which do we call the “road killer”?
16 SJ Āi, nèige jiào, ai, zhèige shì tā hàipà. 哎，那个叫，哎，这个是他害怕。 That guy, of course. This guy — he’s just scared.
17
Ai, yóuqí shì nèige nǐ kànzhe zhèi chē nèi tíqián dǎ dēngr de nèige. 哎，尤其是那个你看着这车那提前打灯儿的那个。 Like when you see a car and they turn on their turn signal too early.
18
Nèige méiyǒu shì, tíqián dǎ bèng dēngr nèige, ai, tā shì gāng xuéhuì. 那个没有事，提前打泵灯儿那 个，哎，他是刚学会 That’s no big deal, the guy that turns on his turn signal too early — ah, he’s just learning.
19
Pà jiù pà nèige bù dǎ dēngr nèige, dàihuǐr jiù guǎi. Mǎlù zhèi shāshǒu tài duō tài duō le. 怕就怕那个不打灯儿那个，待会儿就拐。马路这杀手太多太多了。 What’s scary is the one who doesn’t use his signal at all — just makes the turn. These road killers… too many, too many.
20
Tā zhèige shíxí de zhèixiē xīn sījī, tā hái méi zhǎngwò zhèi chē ne. Tā zǒng shì màn, màn. 他这个实习的这些新司机，他 还没掌握这车呢。他总是慢，慢 This student driver, these new drivers — they still don’t understand cars. They’re just slow — slow.
21
Děng tā shíxí de gǎnjué zhe wǒ zhèi liǎng bǎ lúnr, āiyōu, bǐ tāmen lǎo sījī shú duō le! 等他实习的感觉着我这两把轮儿，哎呦，比他们老司机熟多了！ But once they start to think “I’m the man, I’ve got it over these old drivers any day!”
22
Tāmen nèi lǎo sījī dà miàn guā, āi 他们那老司机大面瓜，哎 “These old drivers, what a bunch of losers.”

Part 3: Traffic is your salvation

Or, the ominous open road.

Audio:

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23 SYZ Nín shì kāichē duōjiǔ? 您是开车多久？ How long have you been driving?
24 SJ Ó, wǒ kāichē ya? Wǒ kāichē kě tài cháng le ba, 20 duō nián le ba. 哦，我开车呀？我开车可太长 了吧，20多年了吧。 Oh, me, driving? I’ve been driving for too long! More than 20 years.
25 SYZ Shì ma? 是吗？ Really?
26 SJ Tiāntiān zài kāi, méiyǒu yītiān xiūxí de shíhou. Tiāntiān kāi, kāi dé yǐjīng bùxiǎng kāi le. 天天在开，没有一天休息的时 候。天天开，开得已经不想开了。 Driving every day, not a day of rest. Driving every day. Driving so much I don’t want to drive any more,
27
Xiǎng de zuò chē le. . Méijìn! Yóuqí shì xiàng báitiān ya, zài Běijīng yě hǎo, fǎnzhèng zài Zhōngguó dà dìshang. 想的坐车了。。没劲！尤其是像白天呀，在北京也好，反正在中国大地 上。 it’d be better to ride. No interest in driving anymore! Driving during the day, in Beijing or wherever in China,
28
Chē duō rén duō dì dìfāng, zhèi chē hǎo kāi. Pà jiù pà méi — méi chē de dìfāng, nà shì tài kě pà le shíjì. 车多人多的地方，这车好开。怕就怕没没车的地方，那是太可怕了实际 where there are lots of cars and lots of people — that’s where the driving’s good. The scary thing is where there aren’t cars! Really, THAT’s what’s scary.
29 SYZ Wèishéme ya? 为什么呀？ Why’s that?
30 SJ Sùdù kuài ya! Nǐ kàn zhèige, zhèige zhèige Jīngjīntáng Gāosùlù shàng, 速度快呀！你看这个，这个这 个京津塘高速路上， Speed! Take the Jingjintang Highway –
31
Tā tā zhǐshì fāshēng zhuīwěi de shìr duō. Nǐ xiàng nèi Jīngshěn Gāosù shàng, kě bié chūshìr, yī chūshìr, chē huǐ rén wáng.Nà dōu shì sùdù zéi kuài zéi kuài de. 他 他只是发生追尾的事儿 多。你像那京沈高速上，可别出事儿，一出事儿，车毁人亡。那都是速度贼快贼快的。 mostly just fender-benders. But on the Jingshen highway — don’t even think about an accident! Just one accident and you have casualties and totaled cars.It’s all about extreme speed, extreme speed.
32
Yī shuō jiùshì, āi, shígè chē, wǔgè chē, āi yōu, fěnsuì! 一说就是，哎，10个车，5 个车，哎呦，粉碎！ Just one mention of an accident and, well, it’s 10 cars, 5 cars — smashed!
33
Qícì ne, hái yǒu yīgè, zuìdà de wèntí. 其次呢，还有一个，最大的问题。 The other thing is, there’s also another — the biggest problem.

Part 4: Beware the good deal

Or, milk powder in your car parts.

Audio:

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34 SJ Zhīdào ma? Jiùshì… Nín xiàng shuō zhèige. Měiguó. Tā xiǎo qǐmǎr zhèige chē tā xiū qù, tā dōu shǐyòng zhèngguī de língjiànr lái xiū. 知道吗？就是。。您像说这 个。美国。他小起码儿这个车他修去，他都使用正规的零件来修。 Know what it is? Well, like take America — a guy gets his car repaired and at the very least he uses standard parts.
35
Nín xiàng Běijīng zhèige dìfāng, cóng dǎ mǎi le chē, yī chū le zhèi bǎoxiū, jiù kāishǐ shàng qìpèi chéng. Mǎlù biānr shang xiū, piányi. 您像北京这个地方，从打买了车，一出了这保修，就开始上汽配城。马路边儿上修，便宜。 But you take Beijing, this place — as soon as the warranty’s up he goes to the auto parts markets, gets it fixed at the roadside shops — cheap.
36
Nǐ bié kàn zhèige 4S diàn guì, tā nèi diǎnr de jiàr háishì bǐjiào zhèngguī. 你别看这个4S店贵，他那点 儿的价儿还是比较正规。 Don’t think the 4S Shop [a well-known auto parts & service store] is expensive, their prices are pretty standard.
37
Nǐ zhèige dìr huài le, tā nèr gěi nǐ huàn shàng. 你这个地儿坏了，他那儿给你换上。 You have something break — if you go there to get it changed,
38
Nà jiùshì shǐ shàng shíwàn gōnglǐ, jīběn shàng yīnggāi méi wèntí le. A. 那就是驶上十万公里，基本上 应该没问题了。啊 then you go 100,000 km, basically you shouldn’t have any problems.
39
Kěshì. . Tā nèige guì ya, a shàng zhèige shénme qìpèi chéng le, lù biānr diàn le, piányi ya. 可是。。他那个贵呀，啊上这个什么汽配城了，路边儿店了，便宜呀。 But… sure, that’s expensive, so you go to some roadside auto parts market. It’s cheaper.
40
Xiū shàng le, nà jiùshì méipǔr de wányìr. 修上了，那就是没谱儿的玩意儿 You get it fixed, but with some jerryrigged piece of crap.

Part 5: Trust and the heart of darkness

Or, one Beijinger’s refutation of every business book ever written about guanxi.

Audio:

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41 SYZ Nà nín yàoshi, bǐrú shuō shì, bǎ zhèige chē gěi xiūle, nín yǒu, nǐ nǐ rènshi de rén de shénme…? 那您要是，比如说是，把这个车给修了，您有，你你认识的人的什么。。 Well, so if you — for example, if you have to get this car repaired — do you have somebody you know…?
42 SJ Rènshi de rén yě bùguǎn yòng, nèige xīn gèng hēi, zhīdào ma? Nèi xīn gèng hēi. 认识的人也不管用，那个心更 黑，知道吗？那心更黑。 People you know are no use, their hearts are even darker. Did you know that? Their hearts are even darker.
43 SYZ Nà zěnme bàn a? 那怎么办啊？ So what can you do?
44 SJ Jiù děi shàng 4S diàn bàn. 就得上4S店办 You just have to go to the 4S shop and take care of it.
45
Nín jiùshì rènde wǒ, nín rènde wǒ, shàng wǒ zhèr lái xiū lái, nín jiùshì xiǎng zhe shǎo huā qián lái de. 您就是认得我，您认得我，上我这儿来修来，您就是想着少花钱来的。 If we know each other, you know me and come to my place to get repairs, then what you’re really wanting is to spend less money.
46
Wǒ néng gěi nín shǐ nèige hǎo jiànr ma? Shǐ hǎo jiànr, wǒ zhèi qián, yóu nǎr zhēng ya? 我能给您使那个好件儿吗？使 好件儿，我这钱，由哪儿挣呀？ Can I give you the good parts? If I give you the good parts, how am I going to make money?
47
Duì bù duì? Wǒ zhǐ néng gěi nín, zhǐ néng gěi nín shǐ yīgè làn jiànr! 对不对？我只能给您，只能给您使一个烂件儿！ Right? I can only give you — ONLY give you — the shoddy parts.
48
Kěshì ne, wǒ gēn nín shōu yīgè hǎo jiànr de qián. 可是呢，我跟您收一个好件儿 的钱。 BUT, I ask you to pay me the money for the good parts.
49
Āi, kě méi zhèige, ai, kě méi shōu nǐ nèige shì… zhèige shénme gōngshí fèi a. 哎，可没这个，哎，可没收你那个是。。这个什么工时费啊 Oh, but there’s no — well, I don’t charge you for labor!
50
Āi, zánmen dōu shì péngyǒu, shì bù shì? Nǐ nǐ shàng zhèr lái, nǐ jiùshì gěi wǒ zhèige pěngchǎng lái le. 哎，咱们都是朋友，是不是？你你上这儿来，你就是给我这个捧场来了 Hey, we’re friends, right? You come here and support me.
51
Wǒ zhèr shì miǎnfèi de, miǎnfèi gěi nǐ, dànshì, jiànr qián nǐ děi gěi wǒ. 我这儿是免费的，免费给你，但是，件儿钱你得给我。 For you, then, everything’s free — you just have to give me the cost of parts.
52
Shízhì shang shì, wǒ gěi nǐ shǐ le yīgè làn jiànr. 实质上是，我给你使了一个烂 件儿。 But the truth is, I give you the shoddy parts,
53
Yào de nǐ de hǎo jiànr de qián. Nǐ huítóu hái děi huài. 要的你的好件儿的钱，你回头还得坏。 and ask you to pay the cost of good parts. Pretty soon it’ll break again.
54
Hái děi lái. 还得来 And you’ll have to come here again.
55
Nà bùshì yǒu jù huà ma, lǎoxiāng jiàn lǎoxiāng a, gàn ma liǎng yǎnlèi wāngwāng?* Dōu kēng sǐ le! 那不是有句话嘛，老乡见老乡啊，干嘛两眼泪汪汪？都坑死了！ You know the saying: you meet a fellow villager — you know why the tears flow freely? Because they’re bleeding you dry!
56
A, yào bùshì wǒ gēn nǐ zhèige, xiāngxìn nǐ zhèige lǎoxiāng, wǒ bǎ zhèi qián gěi le nǐ, nǐ néng piàn sǐ wǒ ma? 啊，要不是我跟你这个，相信你这个老乡，我把这钱给了你，你能骗死我 吗？ Ah, if I didn’t trust you as my fellow villager, I woudn’t give you the money. Then you wouldn’t be able to cheat me to death, right?
57 SYZ Jīngcháng shì zhèiyàng ma? 经常是这样吗？ Do you get this a lot?
58 SJ Tā méiyǒu yīgè xìnyù, āi. Nǐ xiāngxìn le wǒ, wǒ cáinéng piàn nǐ ne. Duì ma? 他没有一个信誉，哎你相信了 我，我才能骗你呢。对吗？ Nobody else has the reputation. It’s only when you trust me that I can really cheat you, right?
59 SYZ Ó, yǒu dàolǐ. 哦，有道理。 Oh, makes sense.
60 SJ Zán liǎ bù xiāngshí, nǐ néng gěi nèige dà bǎ de qián gěi wǒ ma? 咱俩不相识，你能给那个大把 的钱给我吗？ If we weren’t acquainted, would you give me that load of money?
61
Bù kěnéng gěi wǒ. Yóuyú nǐ xiāngxìn wǒ, wǒ lái gěi nǐ bàn. 不可能给我。由于你相信我，我来给你办。 No way you’d give it to me. But because you trust me, I’ll take care of things for you.
62
Wǒ lái gěi nǐ bàn zhèige shìqíng. Nǐ zài Běijīng zhèr (yī) gài bù shú, wǒ lái gěi nǐ bàn. 我来给你办这个事情。你在北 京这儿（一）概不熟，我来给你办 I’ll take care of this situation for you. You’re not familiar with Beijing, so I’ll take care of things for you.
63
Bàn dehuà, xūyào zhè fèiyòng nà fèiyòng, nà fèiyòng zhè fèiyòng, zhèi nǐ děi ná, wǒ bái gěi nǐ bāngmángr a. 办的话，需要这费用那费用，那费用这费用，这你得拿，我白给你帮忙儿 啊。 In the process, you gotta pay this fee, that fee, that fee, this fee. You have to pay for those, but I’ll help you for free.
64
Qíshí bùshì nème huí shì de. 其实不是那么回事的。 But actually it’s not free at all.
65
15 kuài jiā yī kuài, gěi 16 kuài… Zhǎo gěi nín… 15块加1块，给16块。。找给您。。 15 rmb plus one, total of sixteen… Here you go…


Dialog notes

9 So what’s up with the pronunciation of 比 that sounds a lot like pǐ? No idea.
12 At this point two things had happened: there was a driver doing a classic seven-point U-turn on our two-lane road AND the driver immediately in front of us had a “student driver” sticker in his window.
13 The prosody and timing of a master story teller. Magnificent.
14 Sure, he didn’t say “bling.” I’m trying without a lot of success to give this thing a natural feel in English. Not just here but everywhere else. But what are you supposed to do with inventiveness like 我这两把轮儿没问题了? This appears to come from 两把刷子 / liǎng bǎ shuāzi, which means a pair of brushes and is used to describe someone who’s really adept (and maybe a bit cocky about it?). Anyway, feel free to suggest…
15 “Road killer” is from this cab ride.
21 Note shú pronunciation of 熟, which is also pronounced shóu. There was discussion of this somewhere recently but I can’t seem to remember where…
40 There’s gotta be a better translation of 没谱儿的玩意儿
42 He’s not getting emotional. At the moment it seemed like he got something stuck in his throat.
55 The original saying here is 老乡见老乡,两眼泪汪汪 (lǎoxiāng jiàn lǎoxiāng, liǎng yǎnlèi wāngwāng). Really roughly: “when you meet someone from the old country you cry many tears”. Now in the original, those are meant to be tears of joy and nostalgia and so forth, but you can see how our hero has adapted the saying.
65 Yes, that’s a one kuai per ride surcharge that Beijing tacked on a few months ago because of the high cost of gas. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all in favor of compensating the drivers for increased costs. But any surcharge with a separate official one-kuai receipt puts an earwig in my tea.


Weariness

Weary is one of those words reserved for individuals whose long experience and self-destructive perceptiveness have earned them the adjective. Use it for a young fellow who is “weary of life”, and it’s hard not to mutter about know-nothing whippersnappers. Use it for yourself and you just sound pretentious.

Once in a while, though, you come across a man who has lived the years and the disillusions to an extent not only to warrant weary, but to embody it. You might meet him more often than you realize, actually — it’s just that he doesn’t reveal his weariness. Why bother, after all? The accumulated wisdom is not something he’s proud of, it’s simply a burden. He knows he can’t pass it on anyway: the more you try to inoculate the next generation the more apt they are to think they understand and thereby wrap themselves in yet another layer of illusions. No, any comfort in the wisdom of the weary is cold indeed, because the weary man knows the race goes not to the wise and it’s all nada y nada y pues nada anyway.

So the weary man just drives. The passengers get into his car, and he goes where they want him to go. If they try to start a conversation, he grunts a response or two. He doesn’t try to be impolite about it, mind you; the surest sign of false weariness is the snappy fellow who’s just waiting for the chance to tell you how the world really is, you benighted idealist. That snappy cynic is, ironically, an idealist! a stark contrast to the weary man.

The truly weary man recognizes idealism for what it is, just another reflection from the prism of illusion, but he doesn’t judge it. He doesn’t judge anything, in fact. The knowledge of weariness is peculiarly fatalistic: he sees facts for what they are, just facts, not situations in need of change. That’s why you take a cab ride with him and you never know it. He just mutters your destination and adds the odd “oh” and “uh-huh”. Unless…

Unless, through some cosmic alignment of subject and attitude, you happen on the combination that unlocks the warehouse of weariness. You’re not sure how it happens, and you know the combination will be different next time. But there you are, wandering deeper and deeper into the recesses. Your narrator, your guide — he’s more talking to himself than to you. You just happen to be allowed to tag along on what is fundamentally a solitary tour. Ask a question or two to keep the soliloquy from trailing off; nothing more is needed.

Posted 25 March 2010 † syz § taxi ‡ Comments (11) °

Sinoglot: more about China and language

In language, as in every other aspect of human activity, China sometimes gets presented as monolithic when it is anything but. Just consider the term “Chinese” which includes, by some definitions, multiple language families.

Chinese “not being a monolith” goes much further than saying it’s made of distinct chunks, of course. A bit of the catalyst for Beijing Sounds was the gradual realization, as I soaked in more Mandarin, that I had happened into the realm of deep Beijing dialect and that there are folks here whose manner of speaking and choice of words distinguishes them from neighbors even 15 miles away. Travel a bit farther and you’ll find some long-time Beijingers are effectively unintelligible even to fellow Mandarin speakers, if the latter happen to be from, say, deep Sichuan.

I set out to document what I heard, and that’s been Beijing Sounds for the last couple of years. But this blog hasn’t been just about my writing. It’s also led to friendships with some great writers and tenacious researchers who also ran blogs narrowly focused on some aspect of language in China. As we talked we realized we all wanted to keep our focused blogs but also were looking for a place to put other research and questions and ideas that were less related.

Sinoglot is the result of those conversations, and it’s actually two things:

  1. A group blog about language and China
  2. An affiliation for the independent blogs we continue to operate (including, of course, Beijing Sounds — see below for others)

My erudite co-bloggers (from the about page) are these folks:

Duncan maintains the Naxi Script Resource Centre, and works as a translator for various publishers in the UK.

Kellen runs Annals of Wu, xiǎo ér jīng and Nothing Undone. When not doing that, he’s busy being a graduate student.

Paweł is a contributor to Echoes of Manchu and our resident expert on Mongolic and Tungusic languages.

Randy runs Yuwen and writes for Echoes of Manchu. He runs a language school in northeast China, and is the author of Open Me, a textbook that teaches English reading.

Sima writes for Echoes of Manchu and resides in Chinese Manchuria. Little else is known about him.

I hope you’ll tune in and help us explore a few more dots in the China/language archipelago. Here’s a dozen to get you started:

Enjoy.

PS: Rest assured that Beijing Sounds will continue its usual mind-numbingly slow posting rate — all the better to serve you with the highest quality érhuàyīn (儿化音 = rhoticization / Beijing-R).

Posted 11 February 2010 † syz § Blogroll § meta ‡ Comments Off °

The elusive IF

It turns out to have been a trap. In the course of reminiscing about the cheap and delicious radish peel deals Beijing street vendors used to offer, YU started her soliloquy like this:

Guòqù Běijīng a, jiù jiùshi nèige, jiùshi, wǒ, wǒ shì mài luóbo de, 过去北京啊，就就是那个，就是，我，我是卖萝卜的 In the past in Beijing, uh, well, I, if I was a radish seller,
mài luóbo de ne, wǒ dāngshí wǒ jiù zài nèr xiāo, màide shíhòu(r), nǐ lái mǎi luóbo, dāngshí wǒ jiù gěi nǐ xiāo hǎo le. 卖萝卜的呢，我当时我就在那儿削，卖的时候，你来买萝卜，当时我就给你削好了。 well, a radish seller, right at the time I’d, I’d peel it right there, right when I’m selling — you come to buy a radish, I peel it for you right there on the spot.

The English makes it look simple enough. “If I was” (”if I were” if you’re old-fashioned) clearly indicates that she was not a radish seller. In fact Beijing Sounds has her resume on file (as well as the results of the independent investigator — one can never be too careful about these things) showing that YU was a doctor her whole career — no radish peeling stints at all.

But how, asked Albert in the comments, would the translator have known to translate the IF had they not known already that she was not a radish seller?! After all, what the first phrase says is, “wǒ shì mài luóbo de” which by itself could be understood perfectly clearly to mean “I am/was a radish seller.” So couldn’t it just as well have been: “When I was a radish seller…”?

Counterfactual Conundrums

The trap set by YU was to make me think the answer to his question was clear-cut and closed-ended. To quote my own followup comment:

you point out something I was puzzled by too: there’s no “if”. Nothing at all, so far as I can figure out. Yet it is indeed an imaginary situation. I think YR Chao had something to say about this construction. I’ll try to look it up … tomorrow

[more than two weeks ago, but who's keeping track?]

YR Chao did indeed have something to say about this construction. As usual, he stated clearly and simply [p.116 of A Grammar of Spoken Chinese -- for you Gwoyeu Romatzyh fans, note that you can see that romanization in action by clicking on the link]:

A conditional clause can occur without an ‘if’-word by merely having the adverb jiù/就’then’ in the consequent clause or by having negatives in one or both clauses, depending on the sense, as: 你打电话给他，我就不用写信了 [Nǐ dǎdiànhuà gěi tā, wǒ jiù bùyòng xiě xìn le].

Quite analogous. If you take YU’s phrase, clean up the disfluencies and hesitations, and adjust for tense since she clearly indicated talking about the past, you get:

wǒ shì mài luóbo de, wǒ jiù zài nèr xiāo
word-for-word: I was radish seller, I jiù ["then" in YR Chao's terms] would peel right there
translated: If I was a radish seller I would do the peeling right there

Everything is fine if you stop right there. But what if you decide you want an extra source or a different angle. You go online and start searching and submit you come across this:

Chinese, unlike English, does not have any means for expressing counterfactual implicational statements such as “If John were to go to the library, he would see Mary” or “If John had gone to the library, he would have seen Mary” as distinct from the descriptive and straightforward implication alternatives. Chinese, in other words, has no way to express distinctly that mood which in English and other Indo-European languages invites the reader or listener to shunt aside reality considerations and consider a state of affairs known to be false for the purpose of drawing implications as to what might be or might have been if that state of affairs were true.

The paper is by Alfred H. Bloom and since the Beijing Sounds accounting department refused to approve $14 in JSTOR fees, you only get this quote from the first page, which they do provide, grudgingly (as in — the page comes as a picture, not text, so you have to retype even to get your fair use out of it).

Having just provided an example of a Mandarin phrase that clearly shunts aside reality, the editorial team might be excused for immediately throwing this paper onto the pile labeled Horseshit. Yet, yet — since the Beijing Sounds editorial policy is, after all, to presume innocence, to presume that people aren’t just, to use the vernacular, making shit up– maybe we should give it a second chance. If anyone can offer some guidance as to why Bloom’s assertions might be correct or at least interesting, the Beijing Sounds studios promise to complete a full and timely (as in: it will take a lot of time) investigation. Just as nice would be if you know more references to where this has been argued, pro/con.

[UPDATE: Since I now have the entire article and have discovered that the aforementioned $14 would have bought me only a couple additional paragraphs, I've taken the liberty of pasting the final paragraphs of the very short article below. Again, you can see the first page on the link above, and the rest of the article below. Sorry JSTOR and Bloom for depriving you of rightfully earned revenues. Please contact Beijing Sounds in-house counsel for discussion of revenue-sharing opportunities.

impact_of_chinese_linguistic_structure_on_cognitive_style_page_two

Posted 11 January 2010 † syz § Chao Yuen Ren 赵元任 Zhào Yuánrèn § Grammar of spoken Mandarin ‡ Comments (22) °